Archive for the ‘realtalk’ Category

A mental journey of time and space in my mind

As I sit here looking at my son, I think back to my youth growing up in Jamaica. It’s sad to acknowledge this but my son will never understand the joys of growing up in the country areas maybe suburbia but certainly not the country. I was born in Westmoreland, Jamaica. I lived in the parishes of St Catherine, Portland and St Thomas. Most of my childhood was normally in areas with high vegetation and some bush as we Jamaicans tend to call areas that have alot of trees and shrubbery. Some of my best memories were simply wandering off into the bushy areas and Conjure up my own misadventures. Yes, now that I think of it I could have been Kidnapped or killed or whatever as some of the areas I wandered into were pretty Shifty. Alas I had fun going on my adventures. Then there was a huge gap where I simply had no access to that adventure that joy of being in the bushes, I was whisked off to the United States. That was a point I went into a huge mental depression, this was brought on due to the fact that the United States was nothing like I saw on TV.

I now resided in New York, Queens to be exact and that was the most stressing times due to many factors I won’t go into. One of those factors was the environment and the drastic shift and simply missing the days of youth. A few years later I was able to get that joy back because I was given a bicycle, I believe it was from my grandmother. In Jamaica I had two bicycles, which I used for many of my adventures, back then so it was a Wisk back to that mental clarity and relaxation. Finally I now had a way to explore this New York and Queens. I could be found riding to Flushing Meadow Park with my cousin and his best friend. Years later when I first started college I would find myself riding in Manhattan and into central park. I rode all over Manhattan exploring and finding all sort of interesting places, many thought I was one of those bicycle delivery guys due to my extreme cycling antics. Eventually that got boring and mundane and drifted again into that loss of self. In the middle of this my parents who I still resided with as I just started college moved to Long Island. That was an incredible shift of things for me mentally as I was moving to a region I was not quite familiar with. Our new home had a backyard. Oh I failed to mention that when I lived in New York we lived in an apartment, Lefrak to be exact and that was in many ways another mental shock as I was used to a home with a backyard back in Jamaica, I was used to a lot of vegetation. This new home was a trip almost back to what I was used to, it was a fixer upper but it felt like home it had a huge backyard half an acre or just a tad more. That was more than enough, plus it had lots of trees and vegetation, I was finally at a home where I felt at ease.

Time flew and eventually as usual all good things come to an end, sadly my parents job moved to another state and they were given an option to move with the company which they did. I did not fo with them as the new location was not to my liking, so I remained in long island. I truly do miss that home as we lived there for 4-5 years. I could not return to the city not to live. I dreaded the city I knew I could not mentally accept living in a city anymore. Now alone for the most part I eventually found an apartment which was close to the city but enough of a distance where I was not in the city. I also found a bicycle trail which I would traverse in the summer weathers as winter is death. I have to say I fell in love with long island it had what I truly desired beside the winter, can I say I hate winter and snow.

Of course all good things yet again have to come to an end several years later I later moved 3000 miles away to a new city a new home. Sadly this new setting lacked what I was so accustomed to which was trees and more trees it seemed desolate. Know myself I knew I had to do something before I crashed. I later found a bike trail, this was in many ways my serenity, anytime I would get mentally taxed, and I would grab my bicycle and head to the trail and put on some music. Crazy enough old school Kanye was my music of choice, he always had some really interesting lyrics and something to talk about, I am really sadden for what is going on with him mentally as mental health is a huge problem but no one addressed that. As I was saying I would put on some old school Kanye and drift away in my thoughts and just ride, I would ride for hours and when I say hours I meant 2-3-4 hours, I failed to mentioned I had a decent job during this time finally which was project based so I had an illusionary luxury that I know many can’t just do, that too will be short lived but for the time being I was enjoying this mental escape whenever I came back from my projects. Now fast forward to today I am sitting here with my little one and I so want him to experience the joys I have had growing up with a backyard, the adventures, the crazy things I have done, Climbing trees, running into the wild and simply having a blast of a time, I look at the city with distain. There are great things in a city but I believe the joys of the wild outdoors can broaden a child’s imagination and mental clarity and also burn them out faster. That’s my two cents.

Black Panther A dream from my inner child

Black panther as a comic character turn film means so much in many ways to many individuals, especially children and individuals who live in the world of imagination and wonder. As a child I would have loved to have seen a character that I could image and wonder about being. As an animator, a game designer and creator of visual worlds this hold a wonderful place in heart. Long have we searched for that superhero we could relate to. The film represented many things, it showed a unified collective of various cultures, It showed a fictional near utopia region in the continent of Africa not drained of its resources by colonizers. It showed what Africa could one day become and what we only dream may happen. It showed the beauty of what we would yearned they would show case of Africa many locations and nations. Personally I was sick of seeing the slave stories as if that was all we had to tell of our past, we did not start as slaves our origins stemmed from much further back. Many want to stop at Egypt as if that was the dawn of man and mainly African. Egypt barely touched the surface of what and where we came from and what we could be. I look at Egypt and think oh more middle eastern influence.
What I took away from the film was the awe of seeing strong Black Women, who were not afraid to embrace their natural beauty, some don Afros, natural hair style or some simply had no hair, they were not presented as sex objects or prizes that we are seen time and time again but mighty warriors who did not require the protection of a man but was respected as a equal. Having a younger sister who is practically the athletic prodigy in the family who does not needs a man to protect her, she seeks her equal to stand by her. This was our starwars, startrek, our harry potter at the end of the day it does matter who created the character, it just gives the children of tomorrow an image of hope that we do exist even in fantasy, that we have brilliance. This film shows a culture that we so longingly wanted and had lost our connection to. We now have a super hero who is not batman, superman or spiderman but so much more he is a king of a nation. Beyond that there are strong women, noble men, monarchs, of more than one tribe.

Growing up in Jamaica, I saw so much culture so much of unity. Our motto out of many one people. Has a meaning that we are a nation of many different groups of people, you will find a chinese, japanese, white, indian all sort of jamaicans. Mind you each group had their own form of unity and devide at the end we were still all jamaicans.

This film also shows how we as the lost children of Africa felt which was abandoned, alone without a base culture, we were stripped of anything that connected us to mother Africa by our colonizers. In a sense this was us hoping for such a future, this was us not being a people who were stolen from that shithole Continent but from somewhere greater even again if it a fictitious place called Wakanda. The question is how did we become a shithole Continent. Thank you Colonizer, don’t you worry the descendants from those shithole countries will not forget that statement and hopefully we will try to make our base-nation better. If you love the score snag it from amazon or google, note the score is not the same thing as the soundtrack.

Return top

Sharing is caring

Share